Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Aerosmith said... Back in the saddle again

Today has been a good day.  So was yesterday.  Monday was bad.  We got stuck home all day Monday with Frankenstorm, and all we did all day (it seems) was eat!  I made homemade chicken soup (good) and pigs in blankets (bad). Yesterday I ended up going to work for 4 hours, and so I didn't take a lunch break, just drank my shake while treating patients.  Today was ON POINT!  Started my day with a warm coffee shake, which I found that I wasn't very fond of, but anyway... had my protein snacks, a small portion of the leftover soup with my lunch shake, had a GREAT workout tonight, and homemade Asian chicken salad for dinner.  It was a good day, as Dr Dre says.

I decided to mix up my workout tonight.  Usually on a weeknight, I will do 30-45 minutes on the elliptical and call it good enough.  Tonight, we went into a small workout room that they have, and I did mountain-climbers, high knees, a few burpees, sit-ups on the ball, squats and tossing a 12-pound medicine ball, jumping jacks, pretend jump-rope... and probably more that I can't remember right now.  ooh, and 2 wall sits! 36 seconds and 46 seconds, respectively!  Finished up with just 15 minutes on the elliptical, and it was torturous!  My thighs, just above my knees, are so SORE, and I probably won't be able to lift my arms tomorrow, but it feels so good to be back in my game.

That is all. :-)

Saturday, October 27, 2012

That feeling of frustration

I feel like I'm being hypocritical of myself if I say "I don't know why I didn't do well this week." I just said in my very last blog that I wasn't as strict on myself as I should have been, and I had had a rough weekend last week.

I got on the scale yesterday morning: 238.1. I wasn't able to "use the bathroom" beforehand, and I DID have some salty food the night before. I decided that I would try again one more time before the scale is take away again.  So I drank tons of water yesterday, went to the gym, and was really good all day (mostly. See what I mean??). And I used the bathroom this morning. And guess what the scale said today? 238.1. Damn it.

I'm trying to be positive and remember, I've lost 9 pounds. I am in the 230's.  I haven't been in the 230's since I got married! But sometimes, when I log onto the facebook page that I use for support, I see others reporting much greater weight loss than I have had.  Perhaps because I'm a serial loser- constantly losing the same few pounds over and over again. And although my numbers are large, proportionately I am not a large person, so maybe its going to be harder for me to lose.  My ULTIMATE goal, without a time frame, is to be 200 pounds, and even my doctor was in agreeance with that, as I am just a larger-built person. Big-boned-ed, if you will. Besides being 5'10".

Today holds a Halloween festival at a nearby beach town, and then late Sunday and into early next week, we have a Hurricane headed straight at us, which brings forth feelings of needing to eat junk food!  I solemnly swore last night that as long as our power stays on, I will continue drinking my shakes. If the power goes out, all bets are off.  I bought Turkey Spam last night.  Seemed like a healthy enough choice, right?
(Someone needs to invent a sarcasm font.) But seriously, Wal-Mart was completely sold out of Spam, except for the bacon-flavored, and maybe 2 cans of the turkey. I know what my hometown will be eating for days!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

19 days in...

Wow, have I really been doing this for 19 days?? On day 10, I had a loss of 7 pounds, and three total inches.  I am to weigh in again tomorrow morning, and I'm even more nervous this time around.  I have not been quite so strict these past 10 days, though I never completely fell off the wagon.  This past weekend was rough, but I still had my shake for breakfast each day.  Saturday was CRABS.  I love crabs, and I will sit and pick crabs for hours. And I'm not ashamed of it.  And that will be the last time for this year.  Sunday was our housewarming party, and I made lots of appetizers, none TOO bad, nothing deep fried or chocolate-dipped, but I grazed for hours that day. We also had Subway for dinner one night this week, and I ate an entire footlong.  Old habits are hard to break, I guess.  I have this nagging in the back of my mind that if I'm eating Subway, I want a footlong or I don't want it at all :-/  I only made it to the gym once this week, although Sunday morning Paul and I walked our entire neighborhood, about 30 minutes total. So, in a nutshell, I'm nervous.

My weekdays have been good, still drinking my shakes and eating my protein snacks, and I don't find myself being hungry like I did in the beginning.  And for the most part, I find that I now get full quickly and easily, which is occasionally disappointing, because I serve myself a "normal" portion of food, and can't finish it!  I am no longer a full-time member of the clean-plate club.

We have a massive storm headed this week... some say it's a hurricane, others are saying it is going to collide with a cold front and form a Nor' Easter... either way, we are in the direct path. I want to so badly run to Walmart and grab toilet paper, milk, and bread, except I have enough TP for months stocked up, and I don't eat bread or drink milk anymore... so I feel left out :-(  I AM going to go get a couple gallons of water, and maybe make sure I have enough almond milk for my shakes, although I'm scared of power-outages and then my milk will go bad AND my blender won't work.  Hoping for a nice rainy day Sunday, no more!

So there's my check-in.  Official weigh in results tomorrow. I'm praying for at least 3 pounds this week for a total loss of 10. That seems possible, right? Maybe? I hope...

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Hunger and Fear

Today is Day 4 on my shakes, and today I felt honestly hungry. I tried to do the "listen to your body," and ate a little more today, and I didn't do anything inherently bad, but I just ended up feeling guilty about eating more.  Today was:
6 am, Breakfast shake (almond milk, Vi mix, 1 tbsp vanilla pudding mix, 1 tsp instant coffee, ice)
9:30 am, Turkey lunchmeat slices
10:30 am (still hungry) about 2 oz grilled chicken
12:00, Lunch shake (almond milk, 1 tbsp each choc pudding and PB2, half a frozen banana, 6 frozen strawberries) and a small salad with light ranch dressing
2:30 Small serving of tuna salad
4:30 (drive home) maybe 2 oz of leftover cube steak, 2 oz grilled chicken, AND a few riceworks crackers/chips...
Dinner was poached swai fish (it's a mild white fish), cabbage, asparagus, and a few leftover roasted potatoes.
I bought a new type of decaf tea to try tonight, that will be (hopefully) my only evening snack.  But all of the above feels like I've eaten SOOO much today!Then again, some people say they feel like they are eating all the time on this plan, so maybe it's okay.   I get a little OCD when I start counting calories, so I haven't been counting strictly, trying to focus on my shakes and small protein snacks, and a healthy dinner, and trying not to snack after dinner.  I admittedly don't like fruit very much, so that's why my snacks are mostly protein. Today I was honestly hungry, and I tried to listen to myself, and keep myself comfortable.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

I am afraid that this won't work, that I'm going to fail. That I'll be that one person who isn't successful.  I am waiting (im)patiently until Day 10 to get on the scale. My husband has actually taken it away from me so I can't cheat and weigh myself early.  But I have such a fear of disappointment on that morning that I almost don't want to know!!  I have failed at so many things in the past, I am afraid of history repeating itself.  It (almost) makes me want to quit, knowing that I probably can't do it.  But I'm going to keep pushing on.  I'll never make it to Day 90 if I quit on Day 1, 5, or 85.  Keep on cruising.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Visalus 90-day Challenge

"I don't trust shakes"
"What happens when you stop drinking them?"
"I'd rather do it the natural way, diet and exercise."
"I have got to do something different, this isn't working."

I have said all of the above within the last month. Now I have jumped on the Visalus wagon. If you haven't heard of it, it's a brand of shakes for weight-loss, and the company offers prizes and awards for success.  Everyone is willing to work hard for a prize, right? I didn't even know about the prizes when I finally decided to try it.  I just knew that "the natural way," diet and exercise, wasn't working for me. Or else I wasn't working it. So, by the advice of a friend who recently lost a lot of weight, and is continuing to lose, I decided to give it a try.  Today is my day 1.  It's a 90-day challenge, which puts me into early January (if the world doesn't end first).

I don't think I have eaten enough today.  I have felt physically hungry most of the day. I can't exactly BLAME the shakes, it's not like "Oh you're only drinking shakes, no wonder you're starving." I mostly blame myself, for thinking that whenever I'm not full, I'm hungry.  There is no in-between for my brain.  I have to get used to the feeling of "satisfied," which currently equates to "hunger" in my brain.

I also may have eaten a little too little today.  Breakfast was just a plain shake (shake mix, almond milk, ice), so I could taste what it is like on its own.  It's sweet, a lot of people liken it to Cake Batter, and a TEENY bit gritty, but if you've ever tried Whey Protein Powder, this is nothing on the gritty scale. That was after 45 minutes of cardio at the gym. (Also working on getting back to the gym regularly). Did not eat again until lunchtime, where I had a shake made with the almond milk, frozen strawberries, and half a frozen banana.  And steamed edamame also for lunch.  And then we went to Wal-Mart, where the deli smelled so good!!! I did find that although I was hungry, the displays of cookies and chips and other usual deliciousness did not tempt me. Upon coming home, I had three slices of turkey lunchmeat, rolled up. And that's it.  For those of you keeping track at home, that about 575 calories in. 765 calories burned at the gym this morning.  I'm in the deficit.  This diet highly promotes frequent small protein snacks, and I'm under-prepared for today, but I'm ready for the week ahead.  I have chicken strips to be grilled, and made individual servings of tuna salad and chicken salad.

Dinner tonight should help me fill the deficit, although it sort of seems weird to eat 600+ calories for dinner just to make up for the day. I have to even out my snacking calories.  I'll get there. There has to be a learning curve, right?

Dinners for the week include:

Tonight: Grilled cube steak, grilled potatoes, and brussel sprouts (I like them!)

Monday: Turkey meatloaf with spinach and goat cheese, brown rice, cabbage

Tuesday: Chicken stir-fry (chicken, squash, asparagus, peas, onions, corn, bell pepper) with brown rice

Wednesday: Broiled Swai (or in a packet) with lemon, asparagus, brown rice

Thursday: Spanish Rice (ground turkey, brown rice, salsa), and Squash

Friday: Spaghetti Squash and zucchini with ground turkey and spaghetti sauce

Saturday: If I stick to the plan all week I want to go to the diner and get broiled flounder and the salad bar.

Upon review, I hope I don't get too tired of brown rice this week, or run out!

The hardest part of this diet for me will be the lack of dairy. I am a giant cheese lover, and I am sure I will go through cheese withdrawal. It also limits wheat products, pork, shellfish, and sweeteners.  Otherwise, it doesn't feel TOO restrictive, and once I get into the swing of things, I think I'm going to great.  My I hope....

I will try to post a weekly update.  Paul has hidden my scale until next Sunday, and I think I'll wait for 30 days to take update photos, so I'll post them then.