I wanted to post today about my poor self-image. I view myself as so much bigger than I think I actually am. I always feel like the biggest person in the room. You know how sometimes, even though you really try hard not to, when you see an obese person, you have a "whoa" moment in your head? I felt like everyone was going that to me. And when I see most pictures of myself, I KNOW I'm not that big. But I still feel like a cow when I look down at my own body.
BUT... I've reached something of a milestone in my journey. I had a lot of time on my hands on Monday, and I spent some time in front of a full-length mirror. Naked. Try not to imagine it, please. But after peering and pondering over myself at many different angles, I discovered something... it's not so bad. I wish my belly were smaller, but really what girl doesn't? If you're a girl and you don't want a smaller belly, stop reading my blog now. We can't be friends. My butt was not nearly as dimply as I imagine it being. My thighs are toned. That inner thigh fat that seems so prominent in the above picture is not nearly as offensive as I thought. My calves are shapely. My arms, muscular! My chest? Okay, my boobies are entirely too small, and God had a sense of humor when he made someone my size with A-cup titties, but my chest has muscle!!! There is separation and lift to those little puppies! Double chin... eh, it needs work too, but if I keep my head up, it looks better, right?
So in the time between deciding this blog topic, and actually writing it, I've had a huge change of heart, and all for the better.
I have been searching through my facebook pictures, trying to find one where I was "fat" and actually having a hard time. I may not be a lot skinnier now versus all those pictures, but at least I don't think they were ALL fat pictures. I did find this one, however:
Next blog idea TBD
I did 2 sets of 5 pull ups and dips with 150 pound assist. I managed ONE pullup with 120 pounds assist.