Wednesday, July 11, 2012

If ya want my body and ya think I'm sexy...

I wanted to post today about my poor self-image.  I view myself as so much bigger than I think I actually am.  I always feel like the biggest person in the room.  You know how sometimes, even though you really try hard not to, when you see an obese person, you have a "whoa" moment in your head?  I felt like everyone was going that to me.  And when I see most pictures of myself, I KNOW I'm not that big.  But I still feel like a cow when I look down at my own body.
This picture was taken just last week.  I KNOW for a fact that I'm not BIG.  But all I see in that picture is INNER THIGHS!

BUT... I've reached something of a milestone in my journey.  I had a lot of time on my hands on Monday, and I spent some time in front of a full-length mirror.  Naked.  Try not to imagine it, please.  But after peering and pondering over myself at many different angles, I discovered something... it's not so bad.  I wish my belly were smaller, but really what girl doesn't?  If you're a girl and you don't want a smaller belly, stop reading my blog now.  We can't be friends.  My butt was not nearly as dimply as I imagine it being.  My thighs are toned.  That inner thigh fat that seems so prominent in the above picture is not nearly as offensive as I thought.  My calves are shapely.  My arms, muscular!  My chest?  Okay, my boobies are entirely too small, and God had a sense of humor when he made someone my size with A-cup titties, but my chest has muscle!!!  There is separation and lift to those little puppies!  Double chin... eh, it needs work too, but if I keep my head up, it looks better, right?

So in the time between deciding this blog topic, and actually writing it, I've had a huge change of heart, and all for the better.

I have been searching through my facebook pictures, trying to find one where I was "fat" and actually having a hard time.  I may not be a lot skinnier now versus all those pictures, but at least I don't think they were ALL fat pictures. I did find this one, however:

Next blog idea TBD

I did 2 sets of 5 pull ups and dips with 150 pound assist.  I managed ONE pullup with 120 pounds assist.

1 comment:

forty2portland said...

I'm with you on the ittie bittie titty committee. I KNOW you're not as big as you are in your head. I do see an insanely beatiful woman when I see and and I'm not just saying that because I'm your friend. I'm saying that as someone who is extremely jealous of your looks. I'm happy you're finally seeing this :)